[Sorry for the holiday radio-silence… Les Auteurs FrinkTank were too busy gettin’ our greed on to entertain you comments-section-abhorring punkasses. But we’re back now.]
Beliefnet has a useful article on everyone’s favorite Scorched-Earth Evolutionist, Richard Dawkins. The man may be brilliant and, well, right, but Gregg Easterbrook has a wee problem with his propensity for telling […]

So I was at Bergdorf Goodman yesterday buying my girlfriend some Christmas gifts. Well, I was actually just getting Bergdorf bags to disguise the gifts from Walmart that I really got her, when, on the sidewalk outside, some tourist started throwing a shitfit because people kept bumping into him as he tried to photograph one […]

What do Alexander Blaisdell at singles bars on weekday afternoons and Intelligent Design have in common? They’ve both been rejected! The only difference is, it’s usually the 40-65-something barflies that reject me and the judges that remand me. But, like those ID proponents, I stand undeterred, ready to regroup and attempt once again to impose […]

Fiftysome years ago a woman named Henrietta Lacks died of cervical cancer. But the tumor cells harvested from her dying body are still alive–and now in greater numbers than the rest of the cells that once made up Ms. Lacks herself.
They don’t need a body. They don’t age or die. They do everything an […]

University of Michigan researchers have discovered that youths between the ages of 16 and 24 drink and drink and drink - independent of their educational status.
The finding, which shatters previous notions that youthful bingeing was strictly limited to sweater-over-shoulder-wearing types, were further broken down into the following less-than-obvious factoid:
- Nerdlings binge once they find themselves […]

Only a baked-off-his-ass undergrad would think this is meaningful research. “Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona Lisa was 83 per cent happy, 9 per cent disgusted, 6 per cent fearful and 2 per cent angry”? Find a new dealer, idiots.
Software decodes Mona Lisa’s enigmatic smile | NewSci

Back when humans were first migrating out of Africa, a random mutation in a single individual caused the first appearance of white skin, says a new study.
But the WaPo reports that “leaders of the study, at Penn State University, warned against interpreting the finding as a discovery of ‘the race gene.’”
Race gene, no. But rhythm […]

Whatever strained metaphor you prefer, the bottom line is this: the ‘Tank is blowin’ UP. Mad love goes out to all you new people who suddenly dropped by on Friday, at once quadrupling our stats and vindicating our faith in the transformative power of the scientific dick joke. Y’all come back, y’hear?

Thanks also to the […]

“Oi! Now look ‘ere mates. We cahn’t let a booncha Froggy boffins show us up, cahn we ven? ‘Fice transplant’– bollocks! Stitchin’ on a pair’a bloody lips–you caw’ vat a fice? Iss like, flagrant fowss advertisin’, innit? Roit ven–We’w ‘op to it. Find some burned-up bird, stitch’er ‘ole ‘ead up proper-like, ge’ ‘ER onna telly. […]