Alright folks, the debate’s over. The Missing Link washed ashore in St. Petersburg, FL this week and is available for purchase on Ebay. Nevermind that it looks suspiciously like a papier mache Predator with an advanced case of coke nose. The intrepid auctioneer isn’t led astray by such astray-leaders, opting to wax philosophical: “Looking over […]

There’s one reason and one reason only why fish don’t give good blowjobs: those sharp, spiny little teeth. Well, as of today I got two words for ya: Gone Fishin’.

There are often times in my day where I have to stop and think, “thank God I’m a dude.” Sure, I’m as feminist as the next asshole, but the sad truth is that in many ways it’s still easier to get by in this world if you happen to have a wang. Just ask Ben […]

Just when you thought reality TV had achieved maximum douchebaggery with The Real World’s never-ending festival of dickheads and loads of post-produced pap trumpeting talent-shy models, fashion designers, and inventors, along comes a show with the power to unsully the soupy inboxes of every truckstop tushpeddler in Atlantic City.
That program is called Who Wants […]

A pair of intrepid Muscovite newsmen hehv resyolved to shyow wyorld how cell phones cehn cook brain cells lyike batch of bad borscht. Their bulletproof experimental paradigm? Prop two cellies up inside empty cigarette cartons, slap an egg between ‘em, and time how long it takes to cook.
(Btw, these are the people who’re now […]

I just stumbled upon a pretty amazing Flash animation which purports to essplain just whatthemotherfuck those nutty string theorists mean when they start wanking off about ten-dimensional space. Having read the bruh-HILLIANT nerd-tween novel “The Boy Who Reversed Himself” when I was a nerd tween - in which an awkward East European impresses a chick […]

NASA says a 10-inch “meteroid” hit the moon, causing a rare fireball and a massive new crater.

(click to enlarge)
The FrinkTank would like to issue a slight correction: When you gets it on in space, real dirty-like, you can’t make an omelette without breakin’ a few eggs, know what I’m sayin’?
And 10 inches? More like a […]

Even years after the Bomb humbled their imperial desires, the Japanese still have what it takes to rule the world. Their incredibly imaginative hentai is more than enough to fell the ‘Tankers with an onanistic fit–but how will they humble the less-perverted masses? With Reality TV, of course, honed and buffed to gleaming scientific perfection:

Sure, […]

OK, people. I know the fuckers are cute and all, but if you don’t put down the panda crackpipe, we’re all gonna wake up one morning welcoming our new economic Mandarin overlords.
Luckily, the brass in our nation’s capital has a plan to help ameliorate this geopolitical tailspin you hapless, babytalk-spouting sheep seem bent on […]