At one primate center I know of, caretakers had to wear poo-proof spacesuits when entering the chimp enclosure, so fond were they of using their offal as missiles. So really, this is educational.

Controls:
move: left and right arrow keys
throw poop: a
run: arrow key + a
jump: s
grab branches while jumping: up arrow key

A Zoo in Exmoor is has just opted to beef up security via a pair of junkyard-dog style assailants that will not stop until you are dead:
The zoo lost 11 marmoset monkeys earlier this year when thieves stole the tiny creatures from their cages.
It’s hoped the two howler monkeys, called Greeb and Wing, will act […]

Why did the chimps cross the street? Dude I don’t know, maybe there’s a freakin’ banana garden over there. Point is, they can cross the street. A team of researchers in Western Africa just figured this out when they saw a pack of shit slingers successfully traverse a couple roads without decorating some Guinean jungle […]

“I got a feelin’ that somethin’ ain’t right”… that’s for fuckin’ sure. According to the Beeb, “Police in Sierra Leone are on the hunt for a group of chimpanzees, who escaped from their wildlife sanctuary after a fatal attack on construction workers… Angry chimps killed and mutilated the driver. The two Americans are in a […]

A recent listing of the “Top 87 Bad Predictions About the Future” features a few choice understatements and miscalculations from such science God-heads as Darwin, Einstein, and Lord Kelvin, to namedrop just a few. Darwin, in those halcyon days before publishing The Origin of Species, declares in the foreward:
“I see no good reasons why […]

So our brief, torrid affair with Science Blogs all started so nicely, with a little slow dance, a little dinner, maybe a little tongue. Despite our acidic exteriors, she touched us in, y’know, the soft parts. And with the sudden surge of attention, it was nice.
But then it went South. Way South. Someone started […]

An admirably prurient reader tipped us off to this recent breakthrough in autism research, wherein it is demonstrated that male monkeys will pay for the privilege of ogling their female counterparts’ luscious badonkadonks. Can a world without Rain Man be far behind?
… Get it? BEHIND? This is “A” material here, fuckers.
Monkeys Pay to See Female […]

Fresh off of a three-hour monkey movie binge, I dreamed of an incensed, frighteningly-real Kong first beating into submission and then sodomizing the building of a certain unnamed tabloid magazine. (Though the offices are littered with slutbags of the hetero and homo variety, I doubt any of them could handle the Dong of Kong. Ahem.)
Then […]

In an development that vindicates Frinktank’s dubious existence, chimpanzees have made a triumphant return to the news cycle. According to a recent study, wild pan troglodytes exhibit a definitive handedness, with most favoring their left hands (paws to all you red staters) when using sticks to probe dirt mounds. Primate hand preference has long been […]