“We can do anything now that science has invented magic.”
— Marge Simpson

Do not watch the following if you are
a) Eating lunch
b) In view of coworkers
c) More empathetic than not

Now that Colonel Sanders’ Alzheimers-y visage leers greasily into the infinite cosmos, we can surely expect a benevolent visitation from scores of heretofore diffident extraterrestrial races emboldened by the promise of adiposity. “If there are aliens in outer space,” said heart attack purveyor Gregg Dedrick after mumbling something about human colonization and buffalo tibia strips, […]

A couple of smug Park Slope yuppies whose male earning unit just came off a job in finance are asking folks on the interwebs to vote for where they should move next so they can settle down and start breeding. First town to net a million votes gets this pair of Sacs De Douche for […]

You heard it here first, folks:
Absofuckinglutely.com goes where no profane domain has gone before.

Indeed, there are some things in this world that science cannot begin to explain.

What do you suppose pathologists do during those long, lonely nights in the morgue surrounded by rotting cadavers? You guessed it, they make beautiful music together. Hey, get your mind out of the gutter, sicko, and meet The County Medical Examiners, a three-piece goregrind band whose members actually perform autopsies for a living.
These guys […]

Randy Gaulding, Sac de Douche
Randy is an “Infopreneur” with expertise in “infoproduct tactics” whose grammar is nearly as poor as his choice of neologisms. Like many marketers, Randy is selling bullshit. It’s hard to have sympathy for anyone who would hire a guy whose site claims that

Do us all a favor, Randy: hire a […]

Or, to put it another way: “[Carl] Romanelli may want to rim my ass three times a week, but that doesn’t make him better than Casey, to me….We don’t have the luxury of a third party in this country.”
Anyway, don’t take my word for it:

via IvyGate Blog