What is up with the skanktastic science news this week? First we hear about Toxoplasma gondii, the friendly cyst-borne parasite that “turns women into sex kittens.” (Screw fluoride: who’s the civic genius to start putting this in the water supply?) Then there’s the discovery a set of genes that directly tracks the likelihood of your old lady to fuck around on you. (Interestingly, the correlation doesn’t tell anything about the man’s likelihood of cheating. Perfect for organizing your next honor killing!)

It takes three to be a trend, so I’m just waiting for the next vaguely-misogynistic EurekAlert news release to hit the interblogs. This one comes close, buried in a piece about new Lite-Brite machines for your Brainhole:

In a recent experiment, scientists tried to figure out what you might call the “Grey’s Anatomy” effect. When characters on the show get lonely, they act out — drinking too much at the local bar, baking up a storm in the kitchen, having sex with a guy who ends up with a permanent erection.

W. Keith Campbell, a psychology professor at the University of Georgia, and his colleagues recruited 30 female students who underwent what they thought were ordinary personality tests while being monitored by an MEG scanner.

Half the women were told that their test results suggested they would have trouble maintaining relationships and “end up alone in later life.” The other women, a control group, got only neutral feedback to their answers, with no indications their lives were destined to go to pot.

Afterwards, all the subjects worked on a long series of math problems. Those who were told they’d grow old alone scored worse than the other women, and “showed less activation in parts of the brain associated with self-control,” Campbell said,

The ten-car pileup of Negative Chick Stereotypes going on here (”like, ohmiGOD! I totally can’t do long division because I’ll never have Dr. McDreamy’s baby!”) almost puts it over the top, but since the article pussyfoots around the research’s implied slut-factor, I can’t deem it worthy. “Showed less activation”? Dude, speak in English. In fact, aim for New York Post english. Like this:

Barren-Womb Fear Makes Broads Beg For It, Sez Study
So-called “Grey’s Anatomy” effect lowers IQs, hikes skirts

Now THAT’LL get you Dugg, baby!

Parasite ‘turns women into sex kittens’ | The Age
Don’t Pair Up With Matching Genes | New Scientist
MEG Scanners are Mega Powerful | Wired News